Right. Two hundred and eighty-two on the board. A bit ropey there at one stage but solid recovery. Ninety-one runs in the last 10, looking forward to the Iftikhar chacha memes and the ‘Shadab Khan is a batter’ think pieces.

Pakistan have got this.

It’s Afghanistan: 7-0. Seven losses but 70 different ways of snatching defeat from the mouth of victory. Sure, they beat England but every World Cup has an upset or two. Not three. It brings some colour, a bit of hope.

Anyway, here comes Shaheen Afridi and he more than anyone has got this. Back in form, back in the wickets, Mr Mojo risin’. Pace is up from the last few games too. He’s going to pick up a couple of early wickets finally and Afghanistan’s batting is all about those early wickets. Break through them and game is done.

Bowls that first over. Looking for That First Over again. Starts, as he’s been doing for a while, too straight. Four down fine leg. Temporarily corrects lengths. But goes full again, this time outside off. Four more. Loosener. All good.

Hello Hasan Ali. Been a bit floaty through this entire tournament. Only here because Naseem Shah isn’t. But he’ll be fine. He’s smart. Old hand. Been around. Enough tricks in the bag to see this through.

Three tight balls. Good disciplines. Too much width next two balls, two fours. Not so good disciplines. All good though. Early days.

Seven overs gone now, Shaheen and Hasan not breathing fire truth be told. Barely a chance, barely a sniff, just one overturned decision. No worries though, Haris Rauf’s been brought on. Pace will do for them. Express. He’s gone for plenty this World Cup but remember how he ripped through Afghanistan two months ago in Hambantota? Fifty-nine all out chasing 202. Good days those.

Oh dear.

The good news is that this first over isn’t as expensive as his first over against Australia. The bad news is I’m lying and there is no good news as it’s gone for 17 unless, I guess, that’s progress from conceding 24? Afghanistan racing here. It’s fine, it’s Afghanistan. The same openers raced to 227 in less than 40 overs against Pakistan also in Hambantota two months ago. Somehow, they only managed 300. Somehow Pakistan chased it down. With one ball to spare. One wicket to spare. Naseem Shah. Good days those.

It’s the 11th over now. No wickets but it’s Chennai. Spin it to win it. It was spinning when Afghanistan were deploying their quartet of spinners earlier (RIP, incidentally, Bishan Singh Bedi, Afghanistan are doing your art proud). Usama Mir’s coming on. Impossible I know, like forgetting your name, but forget that drop in Bangalore. He bowled well in parts against Australia. Spun the ball, sometimes more in one ball than the accumulated degrees of turn generated by both Shadab and Mohammad Nawaz combined in the month before. This pitch is perfect for him.

Though, hmmm. Seven off the over and Afghanistan have barely broken sweat and not breaking sweat in Chennai is some hitherto undiscovered massive hack in the physiology of human reactions to Chennai humidity. Usama’s lengths are a little all over the place. Not that much turn either. Dew? The lights? Different pitch?

Just throwing this out there, but the fielding’s been a little off. Overthrows. Diving over balls. Not backing up. Looking a bit spent, all of them. So, what you’re saying is that it’s going to be on the bowlers then because, lol, when is it not?

Pakistan’s bowling has been the problem so far but this is Afghanistan, they’ll find a way to make them look good. Pakistan have got this.

Shadab has this. Here’s the story. Shadab returns, first fires with the bat, puts in a proper spell of legspin, a couple of wickets because it’s Chennai, and be all supercool in the field. The only problem will be not getting too giddy because it’s Afghanistan.

Getting some nice dip immediately, a little full but this is promising. At least there’s been no…. oh wait, there it is. Filthy long hop. Third ball. Only thing filthier is the Shaheen effort at long-on. Four. Upside: at least he was beaten by the spin.

Drinks now. Afghanistan 105 for no loss. Pakistan have used five bowlers. You know what that means though right? Ifti chacha is in the house, boys and girls. This is his day. He’s been bowling little spells here and there and not been a disaster. Against Australia he was 8-0-37-0 in a total of 367. It’s up there with not sweating in Chennai.

He’s going to do this. It’s written. Good over to start too, only the second in the last eight to not concede a boundary. The strangle is on. Until second ball of his second over, it’s not. High and handsome over his head for six, as easy as taking a single.

Afghanistan 130 for 0. All bowlers used. Slightly alarming but like your five-year-old repeating a swear word they heard you use, not an irretrievable situation in life. I said “shucks” darling. Anyway, Pakistan are much better with the ball after half an innings. Pulled it back against Sri Lanka. Pulled it back even harder against Australia. This is where it begins.

Shaheen’s back and here we go. Wicket first ball. Even better sign: Usama’s held a steepler at third man. This is where it turns. Scrappy, unconvincing win incoming, Pakistan caravan rolls on. Well played Afghanistan.

Shadab’s also on. Fast bowler and leggie, leggie and fast bowler, the Real Pakistan Way. Then Haris is back and Usama’s on. Fast bowler and leggie, leggie and fast bowler, also the Real Pakistan Way.

Except, did anyone send that manifesto to Afghanistan, because there’ll be trouble if they didn’t? Did they hit ‘Send’ because it really feels like they didn’t. It’s been nine overs since the wicket. They’ve put on 41. They’ve just hit Usama for back-to-back boundaries. Cut, then pulled, you say (total legspin-judging raising of eyebrows)?