The DJ’s setlist during India-Pakistan games at neutral venues – which is all India-Pakistan games now – can often be whimsically random. There are the usual pop classics from both countries, or whatever’s hovering around the top of the charts. But on occasion, a stroke of relevant inspiration hits, and halfway through Pakistan’s flawless chase against India in Dubai in 2021, Van Morrison blared through on the sound system.

Two years on from Pakistan’s perfect day, India and Pakistan meet again, but in a tournament where raining and complaining have been ubiquitous, these aren’t days like those. Babar Azam wins the toss and fields first again, but the similarities end there. Minutes after he speaks, the clouds begin to clear and a watery sun peaks through; this isn’t even a day like the one Pakistan enjoyed a week prior, a repeat of which prompts the Pakistan captain into putting India in. And so begins an ODI so wretched, it rendered the first letter of that acronym redundant in its bid to haunt Pakistan over the next two days.

Bowling first when armed with the most enthralling attack in the world is tempting, though this is the third successive time Pakistan have opted to do so against India in this format and ended up on the wrong end of a mauling. The last two times came at the 2019 World Cup and the 2017 Champions Trophy, with India winning by 89 and 124 runs. And for all of Pakistan’s optimism around restricting India to a chasable 267 in Pallekele last week, it bears repeating they have never won the toss and managed a triumphant chase in excess of 250 against this opposition.

But even when Rohit Sharma flicks Shaheen Shah Afridi away for six in the first over, Naseem draws a chance from Shubman Gill first ball, an aerial cut that Afridi might have reached with a more decisive lunge. Next ball, an inside edge whooshes past the stumps and goes for four. While Afridi suddenly can’t find swing and is bullied off the fuller length, Naseem sends down a maiden and then finds Gill’s edge. Somehow, keeper, first slip and second slip all go for it but let it go at the same time. Like the flick of a switch, it seems, India have suddenly worked out how to neuter what is a world-class fast-bowling attack.

Pakistan’s tactical soundness through the middle overs has frequently come under scrutiny, not least during the sides’ earlier meeting when India turned the game around against spin. While that was largely down to Hardik Pandya and Ishan Kishan’s brilliance, Shadab Khan helps them out this time. In one of his most indifferent ODI showings, he can only seem to find long hops and full tosses as India consolidate their advantage. He does manage to get the wicket of Rohit before Afridi deceives Gill, but soon, the Colombo rains do what they had promised to all week, descending with a ferocity so intense even the Sri Lankan groundstaff have to admit defeat.

Woke up on the wrong side of bed, point apiece, move on, right? Wrong. This ODI’s not yet done with Pakistan, who, in classically tragicomic circumstances, are about to be hoist by their own petard. Aggrieved at the rain scuppering what they perceived to be a strong position in Pallekele, as well as missing out on the revenue a full India-Pakistan contest would generate, they had pushed strongly for this game to be moved to a drier part of Sri Lanka. After that motion fell through due to ACC politicking, the PCB won a concession: a reserve day for this match – and this match only.

And so Pakistan return for round two of the flogging they had triumphantly negotiated themselves. By now, Afridi had gone off with an injury before returning, but Haris Rauf was the bigger concern, a side strain ruling him out of the game. Pakistan don’t need any invitation to muddle up their middle overs, but now had to contend with Iftikhar Ahmed bowling at least five. India pounced on him as if he were their last meal before winter set in, greedily hoarding up the runs, stripping him skin from bone.

The death overs arrive, with Virat Kohli and KL Rahul both having notched up hundreds; they remained unbeaten, of course, as the very notion of a wicket falling seemed absurd at this point. But you looked up, and suddenly, in the middle of a Naseem over, here was Iftikhar again, almost as if Spider-man had reverse-spawned into Peter Parker. But as the phantasmagorical events play out, it becomes apparent why; Naseem, too, is walking off with a shoulder injury.

The skies are dark now, and not just because the sun has set. The clouds gather as Jasprit Bumrah stands at the mark, 28 hours on from Babar deciding he’d bowl first. The swing and seam Mohammad Siraj and Bumrah generated rendered them nearly unplayable. And while Pakistan have played up to what they have branded the Pakistan Way, a fear-free approach that held them in such good stead over the past month, India’s dominance and a horror two days shrinks them back into the conservative shackles they have tried so hard to break free from.

It isn’t until the sixth over that Fakhar Zaman gets off the mark, and when Kuldeep Yadav puts him out of his misery in the 20th, he has managed 27 off 50. By now, India’s seam-bowling allrounder Hardik Pandya had jagged one in to dispatch with Babar, and a lengthy rain delay had toyed with Pakistan’s fraying emotions, briefly raising hopes of a great escape.

The weather offered them no escape, and, in truth Pakistan made no attempt at the target. Pakistan’s middle order has been a problem against worse sides, and they were not going to rediscover their groove against this charmed Indian unit. India run through a team that is melting away in front of their eyes, romping home to a victory that will take pride of place in the record books. When Kuldeep traps Faheem Ashraf in front, Pakistan still had two men to come and 228 runs to get, but that, Pakistan decide, is enough. They shake hands, prioritising getting off the pitch on a day this ghastly over throwing a hobbling Naseem and Rauf into the ring. This, for Pakistan, is not so much an ODI as Murphy’s Law stretched to breaking point.

Days like these are perhaps easier to move on from, because they don’t really tell you much. Pakistan are not this bad, and India, for all their qualities, will not have it so easy again. Unlike older Pakistan sides, the penchant or appetite for reactionary recriminations doesn’t really exist anymore.

Pakistan will look to nurse Naseem and Rauf back to full fitness; it is unlikely we see them again this tournament. Perhaps travelling from Hambantota to Colombo, Colombo to Multan, Multan to Lahore, Lahore to Multan, Multan to Colombo, Colombo to Pallekele, Pallekele to Colombo, Colombo to Lahore and Lahore to Colombo all in 12 days isn’t the best way to keep young men performing at the edge of their athletic ability at full fitness. Perhaps the loss is a reminder of Pakistan’s vulnerabilities and reliance on the top end of each innings, and how hard they find it when momentum slips away. Perhaps there are strategic creases to be ironed.

Or perhaps, as Van Morrison crooned that day in Dubai, sometimes there’ll just be days like this.